Taking time for yourself can feel impossible when life is full of expectations and obligations. Yet small choices to pause, reflect, and prioritize self-care can make a powerful difference. This story explores how reclaiming personal space and practicing emotional resilience can help us manage life’s pressures and find balance.

My name is Faith, and I had learned that finding time for myself was harder than I ever imagined. Weekends were never mine; family obligations, calls, visits, and expectations filled the hours before I could even think about myself. My mother’s voice still echoed in my mind.

“You’re leaving again? Doing what you know best!”

But this Saturday felt different. I woke to sunlight spilling across my room and made a decision I had not allowed myself in years. 

I ignored the usual knocks and calls, including the soft scream of my remaining sibling, the one who had no choice but to run errands for my mother. I dressed simply in comfortable shoes, my favorite sweater, and a scarf that felt like a soft shield against the world. I didn’t know where I was going, and I didn’t care. I just knew today was mine.

As I walked through the streets, memories stirred. I remembered the hospital bed where I had begged to die alongside my brothers. The guilt had never left me. It wasn’t my fault they died, but it wasn’t fair that I survived.

My three brothers had passed away on the same day, leaving me as the first daughter carrying not just my own grief, but the silent expectations of my mother. Each birthday, each small celebration, reminded me of their absence. The pressure to marry, to bear children, to repay the survival I had been given, weighed heavily on my shoulders.

For years, I carried grief quietly. Survivor guilt clung to me like a shadow. I became an expert at hiding it, smiling when the world demanded it, achieving success in my career while my heart stayed locked behind invisible bars.

Yet today, I refused to let the past dictate my steps. I wandered through quiet streets, noticing small details: a child chasing a balloon, an elderly man feeding pigeons, the rhythm of my own breath. For the first time in a long while, the grief and guilt that had shadowed me felt distant, like clouds drifting across the sun.

I found a small park and sat on a bench. I pulled out my notebook and began to write. I didn’t list tasks, chores, or apologies. I wrote thoughts about my brothers, my mother, my life, and my desires. Words poured freely, and with each sentence, I felt a little lighter, a little more in control.

 became my coping mechanism, a way to process grief, trauma, pressure and whatever I am feeling. Each word allowed me to reclaim part of myself that had been lost to years of family pressure and silent expectation. In that quiet, I felt a small measure of emotional resilience returning to me.

Two women sitting together on a park bench, sharing a quiet moment of support and understanding

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A soft voice interrupted my reverie. “Mind if I sit?”

I looked up and saw another woman smiling gently. I shook my head. The two of us shared silence at first, watching the world go by. Then conversation came naturally in a small, easy, and comforting manner.

She didn’t ask questions or offer advice. She simply listened, and in that moment, I realized that sometimes the best support is simply being seen, even by a stranger. Her presence reminded me that connection can be a step toward healing. I didn’t feel judged, only acknowledged.

By the end of the afternoon, I understood I had reclaimed something I thought I had lost forever: permission to live for myself. The weekend hadn’t erased the past, nor had it removed the grief or survivor guilt, but it reminded me that healing is often found in quiet moments of self-care and reflection. 

I looked at the card she slipped into my hands. It was one she had been given that led her to 

. I just knew, so well, that I would do the same.

As I walked home, I knew I would face my mother, family expectations, and grief again. But I carried a simple truth that self-care is not selfish but survival. Choosing small moments for myself allowed me to begin rebuilding emotional strength, one day at a time.

Mental health awareness is essential, especially for those coping with conditions like 

anxiety, depression, ADHD, OCD, bipolar disorder, grief and trauma

. Survivor guilt and family pressure can feel overwhelming, but strategies such as journaling, seeking supportive connections, and setting boundaries can provide relief. Healing doesn’t happen all at once. It is in the small acts, the quiet decisions to put yourself first, and the moments when you acknowledge that surviving is not a failure.

If you are dealing with grief, trauma, or family pressure, professional help can make a difference. Therapy, counseling, and support groups offer safe spaces to explore emotions, practice self-care strategies, and build resilience. Remember, seeking help is a step toward regaining control of your life and finding peace amidst the challenges.

The weekend may end, but the fire of self-care and healing can continue to burn within. It is yours to nurture.

A moving story about prioritizing self-care, building emotional resilience, and finding balance while managing life’s pressures.

Reclaiming My Time: How Self-Care Helped Me Find Balance

Panic attacks can feel overwhelming and frightening, whether you’re going through one yourself or watching someone you care about struggle. While this article isn’t a miracle cure or a substitute for professional help, it offers therapist-approved strategies to help you regain control when anxiety takes over and everything feels too much.

Panic attacks are sudden bursts of intense fear or discomfort.  It’s commonly linked to 

, though it can also occur in people without a diagnosed condition. 

It often starts subtly, with a racing heart and shallow breathing. A sudden wave of heat washes over you, and suddenly, everything around you feels overwhelming (too loud, too bright, too fast). You can’t quite put your finger on it, but it’s as if your body is under siege, even though you might just be sitting in your living room or standing on a familiar street corner. 

That feeling right there, could be a panic attack. If you’ve ever experienced one or watched someone go through it, you know just how frightening it can be. 

Panic attacks can last anywhere from a few minutes to half an hour and often come with symptoms like:

A feeling of losing control or going crazy

A sense that something awful is about to happen

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Panic attacks can be managed, and you can actually stop one in its tracks, even while it’s happening. You don’t have to just sit there and wait for it to pass. Consider the following gentle, research-supported strategies to help you and guide your body back to a state of calm.

It might feel like your breath is working against you, but it’s actually your best friend in this moment. By practicing controlled breathing, you can send a message to your body that the danger has passed even if your mind is still racing.

The Cleveland Clinic emphasizes that deep breathing is one of the easiest and most effective ways to soothe your body during a panic attack. It helps stabilize your heart rate, enhances oxygen flow, and disrupts the body’s fear response.

Inhale through your nose for four seconds

Exhale slowly through your mouth for six seconds

Repeat this a few times, taking your time. Allow your body to find its rhythm.

When panic starts to creep in, it’s common for your mind to drift away from the present. That’s where grounding techniques come into play; they help you reconnect with the safety of now.

 which many therapists and organizations like The Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA) recommend. It gently shifts your focus outward.

Remember, the aim isn’t to fix the panic, but to ground yourself so it doesn’t sweep you away.

This might sound a bit unusual, but it can be really effective for many people. Holding an ice cube, splashing cold water on your face, or using a chilled compress can jolt your nervous system back into regulation.

This triggers the diving reflex, which can really help slow your heart rate and restore a sense of calm, especially during a panic attack.

It’s like hitting a gentle reset button where your body gets a clear signal that it's safe to come down. It might sound straightforward, but it’s surprisingly effective.

4. Talk to Yourself Like You Would a Friend

The trick about this is that you have to say it out loud. 

“I’ve been through this before, and I made it out okay.”

“I’m not in danger, even if it feels that way.”

There’s no shame in being kind to yourself when everything feels chaotic. That inner voice can be a real lifeline.

Stopping a panic attack in the moment is great, but finding ways to reduce their frequency is even better. 

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Therapy, especially Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), can help you dig into the root causes and develop lasting mental tools.

Mindfulness practices like journaling, breathing exercises, or guided meditations can train your body to stay grounded.

Regular exercise, even just a light walk, helps your nervous system find its balance over time.

Keeping track of your triggers in a notebook or app can reveal patterns you might not have noticed before.

None of these are quick fixes, but they build resilience and with them, you gradually start to feel stronger.

Panic attacks can lead you to make some pretty unhelpful choices, so there are things you should steer clear of:

Don’t try to force it to stop. The more you struggle against the wave, the longer it tends to last.

Don’t isolate yourself if you’re feeling unsafe. Reach out to someone you trust or find a calm space.

Avoid using alcohol or caffeine to calm down; they usually just make things worse.

If panic attacks are happening often, affecting your work or relationships, or making you avoid certain places or people, it might be time to reach out to a mental health professional. 

This article is not a substitute for professional diagnosis or treatment. If you’re struggling with frequent panic attacks, speak with a licensed therapist or counselor today.

Learn how to recognize the signs of a panic attack and discover simple, expert-backed ways to calm yourself during overwhelming moments.

How Do I Stop a Panic Attack?

In life, it’s not unusual for anyone to make rash decisions now and then. But if you constantly act without thinking, even when the consequences are harmful and you know better, that might be a cue that you need support.

Impulsiveness can show up in small ways or create serious disruptions. While some impulsive actions might seem harmless, living without any form of self-control can slowly chip away at your mental, emotional, and even financial health.

According to the American Psychological Association, impulsiveness is “a tendency to act on a whim, displaying behavior characterized by little or no forethought, reflection, or consideration of the consequences.”

Many people who struggle with it don’t want to make poor decisions, they simply find it hard to pause. It’s not always about willpower or discipline; sometimes, it’s rooted in how the brain processes urges, emotions, or stress. For some people, this is often mistaken for indiscipline. For others, it may be a symptom of underlying mental health conditions such as 

. Neurological factors may also be at play, making it harder to resist urges or delay gratification.

Many people want to change but might find it difficult. They may correct others who act without thinking, yet struggle to apply the same principle to themselves. It often feels like an invisible force is driving them.

Risky sexual behavior without thinking of consequences

Impulsive quitting (jobs, relationships, commitments)

Impulse scrolling or doomscrolling on social media

Making big purchases without budgeting or comparison

Coping Strategies to Deal With Impulsivity

Impulse control can be developed with time, patience, and practice. If you’re struggling with impulsiveness, here are a few coping strategies to start with:

Impulse often comes with a sense of urgency. Challenge yourself to wait (even just 10 minutes) before responding to an urge. In more intense cases, try waiting 24 hours. That short pause can give your brain time to reset and think clearly.

Being self-aware is key. Start by setting aside just five to ten minutes each day to sit quietly, focus on your breathing, and observe your thoughts without judgment. Mindfulness helps you become more conscious of your thoughts and urges before acting on them, and with consistent practice, daily meditation can strengthen your ability to pause and make more intentional choices.

Things don’t always happen without reason. While you may not catch every signal, pay attention to what environments, emotions, or stressors prompt impulsive behavior. Avoid or manage them as best as you can.

This means changing or adjusting your surroundings to reduce temptations or triggers that lead to impulsive behaviour. Sometimes your surroundings feed your impulses. Whether it’s online shopping apps, snack-filled drawers, or certain people, create a space that doesn’t constantly tempt you.

By nature, man is not wired to go through life alone, and this includes impulsiveness. 

: A licensed therapists or counselor can help you understand patterns and guide you toward healthier habits.

: Sometimes, it's as simple as calling a trusted friend when you feel the urge to make a sudden decision. A second opinion can offer clarity and slow you down.

:  If you think it’s just you who is dealing with that mild or severe impulsiveness, then you are incorrect. You’re not the only one experiencing this. Support groups create a safe space where people share their experiences, learn from one another, and find the motivation to keep trying especially on days when it feels hardest to stay in control.

Your brain is part of your body and when your body is out of sync, your ability to manage impulses can take a serious hit. That’s why healthy living isn’t just about looking good or avoiding illness. It’s about supporting your emotional stability, mental clarity, and self-control.

What you eat affects how you think and feel. Skipping meals or eating mostly sugary, processed foods can spike your energy and crash your mood; both of which make impulsive decisions more likely. Try to include balanced meals with protein, fiber, and healthy fats to keep your brain nourished and your mood stable.

Movement does more than strengthen your body; it sharpens your mind. Exercise helps reduce stress, improve focus, and release feel-good chemicals that help you think more clearly. You don’t need a gym membership; a daily walk, home workout, or dance session can do wonders.

 weakens your ability to think rationally and regulate emotions. When you're tired, you’re more likely to snap, spend without thinking, or give in to unhealthy cravings. Aim for 7–9 hours of quality sleep each night to give your brain the rest it needs to stay in control.

These simple lifestyle choices work together. The better you care for your body, the easier it becomes to recognize urges and resist them when needed.

You don’t have to guess your way through it. Find the right therapy for impulse control disorders with Tranqbay. Early help can make a lasting difference.

Impulsiveness is not a moral failure, it's a signal that something deeper may need attention. With the right strategies and support, you can regain control and live more intentionally.

Struggling to control urges? This article offers clear steps to improve impulse control and protect your mental health for a balanced life.

Manage Impulsivity: Proven Strategies to Improve Self-Control

This is a fictional story about grief, trauma, and the silent battles that follow us even when we appear to have moved on. It explores how unhealed pain can resurface, even in the most heroic of roles.

Haunted by a childhood tragedy, Jeff faces a fire that mirrors his past. A stirring blog story about trauma, delayed healing, and emotional collapse.

Jeff jumped from the truck, dressed in Bunker Gear, a regulated station wear made from breathable, flame-retardant fabrics. The bulkiness of the gear made him look extra large. His hands were protected by thick gloves, his feet secured in sturdy boots. A perfectly fitted yellow helmet shielded his head. Clean breathing air came through a mask connected to the tank strapped to his back.

Like his teammates, Jeff looked ready to combat the fire and save lives from the engulfed building.

But before him was a replica of something that happened years ago.

That day, he had come back from school late with the driver, Mr. Funny, as everyone called him. And he watched, helpless, as his mother’s multi-million-naira house was consumed by flames. The fire had erupted from all sides – rooftop, doors, windows – orange tongues replacing blue sparks. Smoke clouded everything. But what tore him apart was knowing his mother and little sister were trapped inside.

Strangers had stopped their cars in the stormy night to help. Someone held him back as he tried to run toward the collapsing building.

“Don’t go any further,” the stranger said softly.

“Why isn’t the fire department here yet?” Mr. Funny yelled at no one in particular.

Jeff’s life changed that day. He lost his family and something deeper. A sense of security and meaning.

That day was the beginning of a new identity. Jeff became stoic. Quiet and disconnected. The nightmares didn’t stop for years. Fire anywhere sent him into panic. 

He became a recluse and went through years of inconsistent therapy. Then, that one decision became his life’s calling: He would be the firefighter who was never late.

They had arrived on time, though not all. But none of that mattered now as he stood frozen at the sight of the burning building.

“Let’s move!” a colleague nudged him.

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"Can they put out the fire in my heart, too?" The thought slipped through his lips.

Everyone ran; hoses in hand, shouting instructions just like that tragic day. But Jeff was paralyzed by the memory of his 15-year-old self, crying, reaching, begging for help. And just like then, all efforts to move failed him.

“Jeff, we need to move now. Get to your position!” a colleague urged, snapping him back to reality. 

Nearby, Charles and Andrew were battling the flames at another breakout point, their hoses spraying steady streams of water. Ralph was coordinating with dispatch, and others were securing the perimeter. 

The team was fully engaged, each member focused on their task but Jeff felt frozen, caught in the grip of his own memories.

“Snap out of it, Jeff. These people need us.”

A loud boom broke through the chaos as the building collapsed.

Jeff snapped out of his reverie, tears finally escaping, fifteen years late.

A little boy tugged at his feet. His stare was haunting. The same glare Jeff had once given the firefighters that arrived too late.

“Nothing would have been done with me'"

“Maybe the one to two minutes wasted were enough to save one soul.”

Jeff heard it all. Jeff heard it all, not from his team, but from the relentless chorus of doubt and guilt echoing in his head.

He wasn’t late today. But he still felt like he had let the victims down.

The weight crushed him. The haunting memory returned. And he knew, in that moment, his career was over.

“There are many ways to save lives,” his therapist had once told him.

“Even your strength can become your weakness. Don’t let it destroy you.”

He had managed to pass all the tests. Psychological evaluations. Training. He was cleared to serve.

But no test could measure the fire still burning inside him.

His teammates rushed toward him – but all he wanted was to escape the boy’s accusing glare

Mental health battles don’t always look like breakdowns. Sometimes they wear uniforms, look like discipline, or sound like silence.

Jeff was strong, trained, and ready but unhealed trauma doesn’t disappear just because we’ve moved forward. Like fire, it lingers in places we think we’ve forgotten.

If you're dealing with trauma or PTSD, professional help can make a difference. Therapy, counseling, or support groups offer safe spaces for healing. Remember, seeking help is not a sign of weakness but a step toward regaining control of your life.

You don't have to wait for a collapse to seek help. The fire within deserves just as much attention as the one outside.

Jeff became a firefighter to prevent others' pain, but one rescue mission reopens old wounds. A gripping story of trauma, memory, and mental health.



A Firefighter’s Trauma: Fiction That Explores PTSD and Recovery

MOSHOBALAJE Sheriff Ajibola is a licensed clinical psychologist with over six years of experience in mental health service delivery across Nigeria and beyond. Known for his expertise, he shares his journey in championing mental health awareness and trauma recovery.

Sheriff’s journey into therapy is a story of personal passion, academic excellence, and an unwavering commitment to mental health advocacy. With a background in Clinical Psychology, he has dedicated his career to breaking the stigma surrounding mental health, creating safe spaces for individuals to heal, and fostering a supportive community for those in distress.

His academic journey began at the University of Ilorin, where he obtained a BSc in Psychology. Driven by a deep-seated passion for understanding the human mind, he pursued an MSc in Clinical Psychology at the University of Ibadan. Alongside his formal education, he has augmented his expertise with various mental health-related certifications, ensuring his approach remains evidence-based and effective.

However, Sheriff’s passion for therapy extends beyond academic credentials, it is deeply personal. Having witnessed firsthand the devastating impact of depression, including the loss of two important people in his life, he was compelled to act. This painful experience catalyzed his realization of the urgent need for accessible therapy in Nigeria. He recognized that many individuals suffer in silence due to societal stigma and made it his mission to provide a non-judgmental space where people can share their struggles and work toward healing.

As a Clinical Psychologist, Sheriff specializes in a range of evidence-based therapies, including Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Mindfulness, Positive Psychology, Motivational Interviewing, and Trauma-Informed Care etc. His expertise lies in addressing complex mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), grief and other mental health conditions. With a strong emphasis on trauma-informed care, he has worked extensively with clients who have experienced trauma, abuse, or neglect, helping them rebuild their lives with resilience and confidence.

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Beyond his professional practice, Sheriff prioritizes self-care, understanding that a healthy work-life balance ensures that he can continue to support others effectively. “

As a therapist, I also try to work out, get quality sleep, cook, spend time in nature, and connect with loved ones. By taking care of myself, I'm able to maintain a healthy work-life balance and pursue my passions with energy and enthusiasm,

One of the most impactful projects Sheriff has led is a monthly support group for survivors of traumatic experiences. As the facilitator, he has created a safe, non-judgmental space where participants can share their stories, connect with others who understand their journey, and embark on a path of healing. 

The initiative fosters a sense of community and belonging, helping participants reframe their traumatic experiences in a way that no longer triggers distress. Through this project, he has witnessed individuals gain confidence, develop coping strategies, and take meaningful steps toward recovery.

Sheriff also believes in the power of collaboration, recognizing that collective efforts can drive greater impact in the mental health sector. He has collaborated with organizations such as Lagos Airport Hotel, TIERs, Tranqbay, Mentally Informed, MyTherapist.ng, Cool Group of Companies, TRAHI, ASADs, Chrysalis Foundation, MANI, and Rainbow FM. His collaborations often involve training sessions and speaking engagements that raise awareness about mental health issues and provide practical solutions for individuals and organizations.

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One notable engagement was his invitation as a guest speaker by Lagos Airport Hotel Limited for their #InternationalMensDay event. Addressing the theme #ZeroMaleSuicide, Sheriff delved into the critical issue of suicide among men, highlighting the societal norms that discourage them from speaking up about their struggles. 

He emphasized the importance of open conversations, breaking the silence surrounding male mental health, and challenging outdated perceptions that prevent men from seeking help. His interactive session provided a safe space for participants to ask questions, share their experiences, and gain valuable insights on mental well-being.

For those seeking guidance on resilience and healing, Sheriff highly recommends the book "Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy" by Sheryl Sandberg.

The book has been a valuable resource for my clients navigating adversity, trauma, and mental health challenges. It offers a relatable and compassionate guide for finding closure, building resilience, and discovering joy in the face of hardship. I believe everyone can benefit from Sandberg's wisdom and courage, and I wholeheartedly recommend 'Option B' to anyone seeking inspiration, support, and guidance on their own journe

As Sheriff continues his work in the mental health space, his vision remains clear: to provide accessible therapy, promote trauma recovery, and build a society where mental health is prioritized, understood, and supported. 

His unwavering dedication serves as an inspiration to both professionals and individuals seeking to overcome life’s challenges with strength and resilience.

The journey to healing takes time, but taking the first step whether by seeking support, talking to someone, or practicing self-care can make all the difference. 

 Tranqbay has made professional help available and accessible. Don’t hesitate to reach out.

 to assist you in booking your first session.

A clinical psychologist champions mental health awareness and trauma recovery, breaking stigma and creating safe spaces for healing and support.

Championing Mental Health and Trauma Recovery: A Psychologist’s Journey

Trauma and PTSD affect millions worldwide, often resulting in enduring emotional and physical wounds. While Trauma can heal over time, PTSD lingers. 

Understanding the symptoms, effects, and treatments can help with healing and recovery. Let's break it down in a way that is clear and relatable.

A psychological disorder known as trauma develops when a person struggles to recover after an upsetting, terrifying, or potentially fatal event. These kinds of situations might be so debilitating that they impair a person's capacity to function in daily life. 

Trauma, according to the American Psychological Association (APA), is an emotional reaction to a terrible incident, like a natural disaster, sexual assault, or accident. 

It can provoke intense emotions that affect a person's mental, emotional, and physical health.

The effects of trauma might differ greatly from person to person. Some people may only experience the symptoms for a few weeks, while others may experience them for months. 

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A more severe and long-lasting response to trauma is known as post-traumatic stress disorder,  or PTSD. "Post-traumatic" describes experiences that follow trauma, as the name implies.

PTSD is defined by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) as a severe emotional and physical reaction to memories or thoughts of a traumatic incident. 

After the encounter, these reactions may last for weeks, months, or even years. PTSD cannot exist without trauma, although trauma can happen without causing PTSD. 

The primary difference is that PTSD involves disruptive, long-lasting symptoms that make it difficult to go about daily tasks. 

It's critical to realize that enduring a difficult circumstance does not equate to suffering from trauma. 

Trauma and PTSD affect millions, causing emotional and physical struggles. Knowing their symptoms, effects, and treatment can aid healing and recovery.

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